I didn’t mean to do it. The most tragic words someone will say we all hear this at a time or another. We have most likely used this line in our life. Sometimes our intentions are good but whatever that is in us sometimes will rise up. When you have to say these words it means you have taken some action that you took and the thing you didn’t expect to happen did happen. God gives us different relationships that are meant to last throughout life but too often we end up ruining those relationships that were meant to last. We sometimes don’t realize the damage we have done until it’s too late. Your words can cause so much damage to a relationship. Even though someone apologizes over and over they can never take back the words that they said or didn’t say. It has collateral damage. How do you not cover up your hurts?? We often say "It doesn’t matter” but inside we have rage and pain but we try to hide it but the problem is one day it will all come out. So how do we prevent ourselves from hiding the hurts??? I’m on this new thing about letting things go but for me it’s sometimes easier to get mad and let it go because when you’re mad you think it won’t hurt as bad. At the time it probably won’t hurt but down the road it will catch up with you until you deal with it.

Psalm 27:13-14 (The message)

“I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don't quit. I'll say it again: Stay with God.”

God doesn’t want us sitting in our suffering sulking in our sorrow. Yes take the time to mourn a loss or cry it out so you’re not holding it all in but be able to move on and allow God to heal this place. Where I am now I cannot stay here because I am more than a conquer. I may have to go through a hard time but God will be with me while I’m going though it but He won’t put more on me than I can handle. God will work something good out of this.

Psalm 33:22 (The message)

“We're depending on God; he’s everything we need. What's more, our hearts brim with joy since we've taken for our own his holy name. Love us, God, with all you've got— that's what we're depending on.”

Our expectation is not always in God. And so we will always be devastated if we have our hope in something that’s shaky. This sets us up for failure. Expect God to do it, it is insulting to God when we place all our hope in people. People will hurt us. You can’t be in a relationship without being hurt. They are human. We have human nature. Someone else should NEVER be responsible for our Joy!!!! Why do we place that on people??? We look to other people when God is wanting us to look to him. I want to be a prisoner of hope. Someone who still has hope in God even when everyone leaves or when it looks like our situation will never get better. I want to move forward because Of the Hope God has given me not man. This is how I feel right now and I think that it’s ok because I’m getting it out and now that I have a little but more of the emotions out I can allow God to heal that place.

A young girl growing up it was hard to adapt
I felt like every other girl was given life with a map
They seemed to know where they were going
I didn't know jack, I had to play it cool never let them see where I'm at
But baby girl got tired and all the boys were liars and they were always getting at me
You see I tried hard to remove all the scars
But I could never see my dreams they were always too far
Dreams of being free dreams of being able to see
I dreamt a man loved me cause I wasn't scared to be me
I saw a life where every woman had respect for herself
And every little girl would run and ask her mommy for help

I'm not afraid to write a song that exposes my pain
I lived my life backwards so when it poured it rained
But I got through the weather now I'm changing the game And dreaming remains the source of everything we proclaim