We stutter and we stammer till You save us
A symphony of chaos till You play us
Phrases on the pages of unknown
‘Til You read us into poetry and prose
We are kept and we are captive till You free us
Vaguely unimagined ‘til You dream us
Aimlessly unguided ‘til You lead us home
By Your voice we speak
By Your strength no longer weak
We are no longer weak
And by Your wounds we are healed
And by Your wounds we are healed
Passed over and passed by until you claim us
Orphaned and abandoned ‘til you name us
Hidden and disclosed ‘til you expose your hearts
By your death we live
It is by your gift that we might give
That we might give
And by your wounds we are healed
And by your wounds we are healed
What kind of love would take your
shame and spill his blood for you
Save us by His wounds
By your wounds, we are healed
By your wounds, we are healed
What kind of love
By your wounds, we are healed
Tell me what kind of love is this
By your wounds, we are healed.
You know those awkward moments we tend to TRY to stay away from well one was presented to me tonight. I ran into someone who completely denies my existence and that I’m human and sooo that actually may hurt my feelings so luckily my mom was with me to help me out because I suddenly lost all vocabulary that I used to have before this moment. Memories started to flash back as I was approaching this person, memories of that place we were at and to be honest I didn’t want those flashbacks but it happened. So we said our hellos and goodbyes but I left there with this feeling of worthlessness. A few months ago I was important to this person, I mattered, I had value to this person and then suddenly I was erased. I left there with all the questions I had before. “Why was I lied to?”, “Why say something if you don’t mean it??”, “Why didn’t you fight???”, “Why was I not important, forget everything else but as a friend why was that not important to fight for?” You get the point I had all these emotions and questions and at the same time wanted to knock this person out. I got in the car and begin to feel so unworthy, lonely, and broken.
This was a point where I had to let go a little more. I did that, I let go a little more. A lot of people think it would be easy to move on after so many months and after so much silence but please don’t judge unless you’ve been there because I used to judge and think “Dang, get over it already!” But we as human beings don’t have on and off buttons. God hasn’t made us like robots, we each are different, and we have different controls and different functions. I choose to let go again tonight. I let go of the pain, anger and confusion. God tells me he loves me. God tells me who I am. God tells me HOW MUCH HE VALUES ME!! He tells me he cares and that I matter to him not some guy. I am worth so much and no one can give that to me or take it away!!!
When I left that awkward run in with this person I realized it was an opportunity to say another Goodbye to those feelings, it was sad but not as sad as it used to be. I don’t want anything that is not real, I don’t need anything that will only set me back and God didn’t intend for me to have something to make me sad. So this is another Goodbye to those feelings. I know I can get through this, I’m strong.
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over and you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift - I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
She said, "If only I could touch his clothes, I shall be made well"- Mark 5:8
Its true that sometimes when we need him the most we feel far away from God-hurting,alone,forgotten, trampled down by a crowd of problems. Maybe at that point we've given up on ever feeling close to him again. Maybe we feel dirty and unfit, covered with worldly dust that robs us of courage and weakens our faith. When you find yourself faced with these thoughts, remember the woman who reached out through the mob of people to just touch the hem of his cloak. There may have been something in her that wanted to think that he had passed her by and forgotten her or turned his back on her BUT she knew better!!!! She knew that even if she didn’t feel close to Jesus, even if she could look him in the eye or talk to him face to face, she still knew he was there!! Deep down we still know God is near, deep down ..That means we have to dig. There’s work to be done. We often remind ourselves of our failures so we won’t have to make that step of change. Change is scary let’s admit it. It’s the fear of the unknown.
When things go bad in our lives it is easier to sometimes place the blame on others. It’s easier to be angry rather than deal with the hurt, it’s easier to close someone out rather than work things out, and it’s easier to shut down on life when you keep coming to a fork in the road that is going to make you take a path that maybe you don’t want to take. When things don’t work out the way we plan....when we're handed loss while we are hoping for luck...when someone or something we love is taken from is...the light goes out of our lives. We're lost, not understanding the calamity that has swept through our lives and dumped us in some dark place far from hope. When hardships hit, when our heart breaks, of course we grieve for what we've lost. But in our sadness lets resolve to learn through our grief, through our anger, through our questions, through our hardships. Ask God what he's trying to teach us through these seasons in our life. The answer won’t always be immediately clear. Sometimes we may not realize till weeks or even years later what God was teaching is in our time of trial. We need to let our heartache send us into Gods loving embrace, knowing that HE WILL MAKE A WAY!!!!
I love these next few lyrics of this song. It’s been with me all day.
I'll make a way
I'll do whatever it takes
Even though it won't be easy
I have a plan and though you may not understand
Today, I'll make a way
Throughout my short 19 years I have seen and met so many people who are bound my shame an guilt.I see how in every area of their life they are somehow bound by these things. I used to have so much shame and guilt and so I'm not just writing and assuming what the person may feel. But I am speaking from a point of someone who was completely bound in this. For me, it started with something so tiny but the devil likes to play on that and everyday we allow him to make it a little bigger in our minds, fear takes over because you know everyone is going to walk away from us when they find out then guilt starts to take over....we knew it was wrong but didn't turn around. That is when the shame kicks in. You wanna hide yourself so sometimes you have to put up a front because no one can even suspect anything is wrong because then you would have to "come clean" isn't it crazy how we so quickly accept lies from the enemy and believe them about our self and even others but when God speaks things about us and to us we cant believe them.
We will spend years in bondage and bound by crippling fear because what the enemy has spoken to us but God is the author of our lives (“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”- Hebrews 12:2) He is always speaking into our lives but we find it so hard to believe what he says about us?? Crazy huh???
This new season that we are entering is a time for God to completely turn Things around. We will be going one way and we will completely turn around to Pick up promises that seemed frozen in mid air. We will turn around and they will Melt and begin to come into fruition. “I am the God of the Turn Around.” The enemy has driven you into his entanglement, but I will turn his plan around on his own head. It will look like you were on the losing side but all of a sudden I will turn it around. Just when you thought the battle was lost, you will look to the hills from where your help come from and you will see that there are more with you than are against you. All of a sudden your enemy will not be found. You will see your God turn it all around. Your enemy will run from you because God will put fear and dread upon him through you.
It doesn't matter what you have done or haven't done. The shame and the guilt has already been paid for!!! It only takes a blink of an eye and God takes the guilt and the shame, I know because it happened to me. I was getting so tired of everyone telling me to let it go and give it to God. Of course I knew that I had to do that but what I needed to know is HOW!!! How do I just let it go and not pick it back up??? When you let go of something physically you have to release it from your hands. You physically have to open your hands and let go of your grip!!! That's true surrendering. That's where healing comes and restoration comes. You have empty places when the shame and guilt leave so that's where God fills it up with his love and mercy and Grace!!!! When you draw near to God and get at his feet, meet with him face to face the shame, guilt and pain have to Go!!!! Draw near to God and allow him to speak over you!!!
"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28)
"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)
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