Showing posts with label surrender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surrender. Show all posts

Another Goodbye....Im letting you go...again

You know those awkward moments we tend to TRY to stay away from well one was presented to me tonight. I ran into someone who completely denies my existence and that I’m human and sooo that actually may hurt my feelings so luckily my mom was with me to help me out because I suddenly lost all vocabulary that I used to have before this moment. Memories started to flash back as I was approaching this person, memories of that place we were at and to be honest I didn’t want those flashbacks but it happened. So we said our hellos and goodbyes but I left there with this feeling of worthlessness. A few months ago I was important to this person, I mattered, I had value to this person and then suddenly I was erased. I left there with all the questions I had before. “Why was I lied to?”, “Why say something if you don’t mean it??”, “Why didn’t you fight???”, “Why was I not important, forget everything else but as a friend why was that not important to fight for?” You get the point I had all these emotions and questions and at the same time wanted to knock this person out. I got in the car and begin to feel so unworthy, lonely, and broken.

  This was a point where I had to let go a little more. I did that, I let go a little more. A lot of people think it would be easy to move on after so many months and after so much silence but please don’t judge unless you’ve been there because I used to judge and think “Dang, get over it already!” But we as human beings don’t have on and off buttons. God hasn’t made us like robots, we each are different, and we have different controls and different functions. I choose to let go again tonight. I let go of the pain, anger and confusion. God tells me he loves me. God tells me who I am. God tells me HOW MUCH HE VALUES ME!! He tells me he cares and that I matter to him not some guy. I am worth so much and no one can give that to me or take it away!!!

When I left that awkward run in with this person I realized it was an opportunity to say another Goodbye to those feelings, it was sad but not as sad as it used to be. I don’t want anything that is not real, I don’t need anything that will only set me back and God didn’t intend for me to have something to make me sad. So this is another Goodbye to those feelings. I know I can get through this, I’m strong.
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over and you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift - I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.

-T.D. JAKES




Getting in the presence of God

This past weekend I worked the Revolve tour at nationwide. For those of you who don’t know what it is check out this link http://revolvetour.com/ It was a weekend filled with hope for girls all these girls had different issues but all came together in one place for those 2 days to hear about a real God. The first night I slipped in the back and we found our seats and I was sitting there just looking to see how many people were there…I attempted to count but it was pointless to do that I don’t even like math lol but as I was sitting there a questions was asked and it was a personal question something that you have to dig really deep to find the answer too and it requires you to be real. At that moment I felt like it was just God and I. This stadium was filled with people but you felt safe, secure and close to God. That happens when you surrender your life over to Christ. When we hear the word surrender we maybe think someone gives their heart to God for the first time but this surrender means give him your hope, your dreams, your frustrations, your fears, you’re everything!! We can experience that closeness and security in God every minute of every single day!! We don’t have to only be at church, we don’t have to be having lunch at the pastor’s house or even at a conference don’t get me wrong those things are amazing but I think we get to comfortable there. We depend on only the time at church to feel God, we depend on the pastor to give us a good word to get us through the storm or even a conference.

We can only be able to feel the precious presence of God if we draw near to him everyday not just on Sunday mornings we can have encounters with him in church but how do we keep that?? By a real relationship with him. These past few years of my life I finally have understood how important it is!!! I have been raised in the church but that doesnt always mean those kids raised in the church have no problems or questions I knew it was imperative to have reverence and fear God and how to have respect in his presence and how it is a relationship with God not a set religion but this past year I think I have had a deeper revelation of it. So because of the deeper understanding of this I have been able to believe that he loves me soooo much, I know that he has made me the head and not the tail, I know that his mercies are new EVERY MORNING he doesn’t make me work for my forgiveness, I know that I can call on God whenever I need him. I know that I am able to just talk to him. I can just chill with him. When I feel lonely and have no one around he’s there. When people have left me he never has left me, when I messed up he was still there, when I needed to just yell and scream and cry he listened.

I wish everyone would have a revelation like I did and maybe I’m the last one to hop on this train and if so that’s okay but I wish people would know they can call on God whenever they need him, They can be themselves, NO masks are needed. They are safe with him and that he’s real. They can feel like I did in that huge stadium on a Friday night.
It was said today in church that we need to protect the precious presence of God. I can’t imagine being without the presence of God, it’s how I survive!!! In this generation I see over and over people playing games, waiting until tomorrow to get right, going to God when you have a bad situation in your life but never praising him when life is going good. I can say these things not because I’m judging but because I have been there. I’m not going back there and wanna shout it from the rooftops to others not to allow yourself to take Gods presence for granted. He is so Good and worthy of all our praise. He is a God who loves us so much!!! I’m so unlovable at times but how awesome is it to know that I can NEVER be unlovable to him!!

Whats in your Box?

Today go into the depths of your soul and where you keep all of your boxes of baggage take one of those boxes out. Maybe grab the box with the question on it "Where are you God?" But I have learned instead of asking that question when you take out this box ask yourself "What was it that was clouding my vision to see God?" I know its not fun going to that place but He said he would never leave us or forsake us so there is no way that when your walking with him that he just up and leaves you like people do.

Look at Psalm 100 this passage shows you what your to do with your baggage you are carrying. So with all the questions all of the doubts or all of the failures you have enter into his presence with PRAISE!!!! So when your digging in the boxes of baggage you've stacked away take those to God and leave them!! That means take the PAIN take the TRAUMA take the REGRET take the ANGER take the SADNESS and THANK God for it because when you thank him and you release it to him because when your hands go up and praise him they no longer can hold on to the baggage!! So give whatever your box is today to God!!!

Psalm 100 (The Message)
1-2 On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.

3 Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn't make him.
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.

4 Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.

5 For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.

Are you living or existing??

I was watching a movie tonight with my family and something was said in it that hit home with me. Throughout life you take so many things for granted. Small and big. Right now in my life I have to sit back and look at some things and to be real honest could care less about a lot of it right now. But I was thinking about this movie and the question was asked in the movie “Are you living or existing?” It hit me. I’m just existing right now. I’m not living up to the potential God has for me. I feel like lately I’ve lost my passion for a lot of things. I don’t know how I got to that point but needless to say I know I’m there and it’s a part of the process but some of it is just free will and life. But I have to be willing to learn through this process so to get to that point I got to let some things go. The things I thought were not that big of a deal or didn’t affect me in a negative way have and I got to learn to let those things/people go.

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