One of the deepest desires of my heart is to travel. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I have been through a lot and have a voice to reach out to so many people so they can find healing and strength in the situation they are facing. So many things this past weekend has happened. We had a lady come visit our church and in the middle of the service God spoke to me and felt like he was telling me to prepare myself to start walking in my calling. It’s something I have been praying about for about a year now and I don’t want to go out until I am prepared and feel like I get a CLEAR answer. I’m not sure what all this traveling will involve but whatever it is I am willing to do what he asks of me. I don’t want pity for what I have gone through I don’t need that what I do need is people to be open to hearing my story and be willing to receive the healing that God has for them whether it be healing from abuse (mental, verbal, physical or spiritual) Heartache, disappointment, shame, guilt, feeling unworthy, the feeling of never achieving anything etc you get the point hopefully lol whatever it may be I want God to be able to use me. But something I realized this evening is I need to start dealing with some emotional baggage I have packed away in the closet it’s not huge life shattering things BUT it is baggage that needs disposed of. I am willing to go to the place where it may hurt, make me angry or make me sad so that I can be able to say I MADE IT AND SO CAN YOU!!!! I DEALT WITH THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD GET OVER AND I DIDN’T DO IT ALONE!!!! (I’m not yelling in an angry tone lol) I see so many times people stuck, including me at times because of the fear of “what ifs” I am no longer letting the “what if’s rule me and hold me back from what God has for me. If I have it in my heart to travel and speak to people then I am giving that to God so he can start working on it lol BAM!!!

I can’t wait to get into what I’m called to do. I’m very excited and scared sometimes too but its normal I think??? That is where I have got to trust God and trust with my WHOLE heart!!! I feel like right now I am in training for what my “job” will be. Every day I want to learn something new. I want to find out something else about God I didn’t know before. Think about it, when you are in a relationship with either your boyfriend/girlfriend you want to learn something new about them everyday…their likes/dislikes , their fears, their dreams etc God can have that kind of relationship with us but even DEEPER!!! Yes it’s an amazing feeling to have a significant other who makes you smile when you think about them and you know everyone is wondering what the heck you’re so aimlessly starring at smiling from ear to ear but it goes deeper then aimlessly smiling at nothing. Think about it…that is so deep. What more could you ask for??? I know for me that’s what I want and I will do whatever to get to the place where everyday learn something else!!!
Psalm 37:3-5
“Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this”

I've been sweeping around this room with a fine tooth broom
Still don't have a clue
I've been searching for signs of life
But nothings comin through
I've been flipping through pages full of golden rules
A wealth of tiny truths
Tripping over the same old things, I thought I'd long since moved

I believe in the helping hand, my fellow man
And the fail-safe “love thy neighbor plan”?
The promise, the creed, the other cheek, so help me
I need to get to you

You've been paving the way, making it straight
The path has been cleared
I've been a little hesitant, but you still find me here
You've been flooding my thoughts
Now I'm breaking the locks making my way through
I can see to the other side and I'm so glad it's you
I believe in the one about reaching out, living loud, and all my doubts I believe in
What I can't do and I believe, I believe in you

It's taken me all this time to see the sun
It's taken me all this time to learn how to run
After the rain has washed away the rust and residue
All that's left of me is you

I believe I can overcome the things that have been left undone
I believe I have a place to go, somehow I know, I will get to you