I haven’t posted in a few days it’s been crazy busy here. I am leaving in about 4 hours for PA My dad is doing a show there for about 10 days so as support the whole family is going. I’m already homesick  these last few days a lot has been going through my mind. Good and bad. I have so many things that my heart desires and I know right now is not yet the time for the door to be completely swung open. Don’t you hate that??? Tonight as I was packing my bags to leave I started feeling very unorganized all my clothes were EVERYWHERE my shoes nowhere to be found I started feeling a little discombobulated. Then of course, I started thinking about the situations in my life right now. The HUGE ones and the tiny ones. I started just feeling really down and lonely…I analyze everything and in some cases that is good but in this case tonight not so good. I feel like I could sit and stare at a wall tonight lol so many thoughts and I can’t find the answers for all of these thoughts. I began to wonder how Jesus felt while he was on earth. How did it feel??? How did he spend each morning??? What did he think?? Did he ever feel lonely??? I just sat there in the middle of my room with what looked like a huge mess around me and just began to cry. I wish I was there with Jesus as he was growing up. I wish I was able to sit with him at the table have a little chat with him and see him. I asked one of my friends if he thought Jesus ever got lonely while he was on earth?? He gave a good point. He said “The bible says he is familiar with suffering and when we are familiar with someone, there is a relationship there. He often had a relationship with suffering, his own boys fell asleep on him when he needed them the most” We all obviously know Jesus SUFFERED for US!!! And I always knew that but he put that the best….Think how lonely you would feel in the garden praying relying on your disciples to be covering you in prayers and to turn around to only find them sleeping???
I once again started to think about my situations. I was in the middle of my room crying and feeling like I had a mess surrounding me when God spoke to me and so lovingly reminded me that no “mess” is too big for him. What I may see as a HUGE obstacle he sees as a little hill. We often focus on the many valleys and steep hills and mountains we may have to climb over but we look so far ahead we cannot see what is right in front of us. God gives us everything we need including love. I know I do not have this all figured out but I do have a God who does. I need to trust and have faith more. It’s so easy to get down and feel alone and just like a huge screw up but tonight God put his arms around me and calmed me down. Am I lonely??? A little but I know who to go to when I do.