Sometimes I wish I could have this huge manual guide to my life and have the front of the book have VERY SPECIFIC chapters with the number to the page I should be looking at. Maybe I’m the only one that really wishes for that, who knows?

So many decisions, big decisions and small decisions but nevertheless they are decisions. God always meets us where we are. He does not discriminate. So often have I felt so unworthy, so useless, so invisible but I know that he is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24). I think we have all been here before. We pray to God, open our heart to Him, attentively listen for the answer and then we hear...nothing! We start to question and wonder if God is really there. We start asking does He still speak or what have I done to not hear Him today. Maybe I have fallen from His grace and am not going to be able to hear Him anymore. Our position in Christ is not a result of being able to hear God speak on any given day. We are secure in Christ because of His grace and nothing else. Our ability to hear God speak then becomes a natural outflow of our relationship with Him. Any relationship will take time. It takes time to grow into this with God and it takes time to learn and be familiar with his voice. Think about it...if we haven't been investing in our relationship with God regularly how could we expect to hear from Him regularly. The two go hand in hand.

It’s hard to make a big decision and what’s even harder is to listen to either your heart or mind. Can you listen to both and still make the right choices for your life? Tonight my mind is in a million places, I should be sleeping but cant because when I close my eyes I still am thinking about the decisions I have to make and what their ramifications would be. One decision won’t just affect you, it affects everyone around you. I just need God to speak to my heart and tell me what to do. In my heart I know what I want to do and dream of happening but in my mind it’s not completely realistic. My heart just feels heavy and it won’t go away, if I think about the decisions coming up it hurts my heart. Change is scary but even scarier when it’s not in Gods timing. I really want the decisions I make to be in the right timing. I want to move forward with life and not have to keep reliving a part of my life just because I didn’t learn my lesson. So not anything profound just needed to vent. Help me pray that any decision I make in life will be in the right timing.

There is a major assault on our relationship with God when God does not meet our expectations. Perhaps prayer is the most common reason for our concluding that God has failed to meet our expectations. We are urged to pray. We are urged to pray in confidence. We are urged to trust God to hear and respond to our prayers. Because we pray, we expect. When what we expect does not occur, we may be disappointed, or we may be depressed, or we may loose faith because we loose hope. Open your eyes and your heart to God this day and realize that He is yours and you are His and that nothing can separate His love for you.

Right now in my early 20’s I am learning that God is wanting to take me back to my heart and re visit some places I tucked away. He wants me to revisit my passion and he wants me to rely on him to provide what I’m longing for. Something my friend asked me the other night was “Have I ever told God what I long for and what I want like I have told him?” As I thought about it, I really haven’t. I have always just said God you know what’s in my heart. I believe that even though I didn’t give him details he knows the details but God loves when we come to him and actually give him details. That’s what a relationship is. When your in a relationship you talk with the person you get to know them, you tell them your desires, your wants, your dislikes, your fears etc…So why do we not do that with God??? Today I urge you to tell God what it is you’re longing for what you desire and want to happen. God knows if it’s in his will or not we just have to be willing to hear the answer.