What my heart desires....

One of the deepest desires of my heart is to travel. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I have been through a lot and have a voice to reach out to so many people so they can find healing and strength in the situation they are facing. So many things this past weekend has happened. We had a lady come visit our church and in the middle of the service God spoke to me and felt like he was telling me to prepare myself to start walking in my calling. It’s something I have been praying about for about a year now and I don’t want to go out until I am prepared and feel like I get a CLEAR answer. I’m not sure what all this traveling will involve but whatever it is I am willing to do what he asks of me. I don’t want pity for what I have gone through I don’t need that what I do need is people to be open to hearing my story and be willing to receive the healing that God has for them whether it be healing from abuse (mental, verbal, physical or spiritual) Heartache, disappointment, shame, guilt, feeling unworthy, the feeling of never achieving anything etc you get the point hopefully lol whatever it may be I want God to be able to use me. But something I realized this evening is I need to start dealing with some emotional baggage I have packed away in the closet it’s not huge life shattering things BUT it is baggage that needs disposed of. I am willing to go to the place where it may hurt, make me angry or make me sad so that I can be able to say I MADE IT AND SO CAN YOU!!!! I DEALT WITH THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD GET OVER AND I DIDN’T DO IT ALONE!!!! (I’m not yelling in an angry tone lol) I see so many times people stuck, including me at times because of the fear of “what ifs” I am no longer letting the “what if’s rule me and hold me back from what God has for me. If I have it in my heart to travel and speak to people then I am giving that to God so he can start working on it lol BAM!!!

I can’t wait to get into what I’m called to do. I’m very excited and scared sometimes too but its normal I think??? That is where I have got to trust God and trust with my WHOLE heart!!! I feel like right now I am in training for what my “job” will be. Every day I want to learn something new. I want to find out something else about God I didn’t know before. Think about it, when you are in a relationship with either your boyfriend/girlfriend you want to learn something new about them everyday…their likes/dislikes , their fears, their dreams etc God can have that kind of relationship with us but even DEEPER!!! Yes it’s an amazing feeling to have a significant other who makes you smile when you think about them and you know everyone is wondering what the heck you’re so aimlessly starring at smiling from ear to ear but it goes deeper then aimlessly smiling at nothing. Think about it…that is so deep. What more could you ask for??? I know for me that’s what I want and I will do whatever to get to the place where everyday learn something else!!!
Psalm 37:3-5
“Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this”

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Anonymous said...

Jesus said, "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." MATTHEW 28:19-20

Jessica said...

With that in your heart and in your mind knowing that God is going to lead you, He will take you SO far, and many blessings I know will come along the way.

"I say to myself, the Lord is my inheritance, therefore I will hope in him!" Lamentations 3:24 NLT

Much love,

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