Ok so I’m finally writing a new blog, it’s been a minute but I’m back!

While I was at work tonight I was thinking about what I wanted to write on and most importantly if God wanted me to write on something specific. All night I couldn’t come up with anything because to be real honest my brain was just so wore out from these last couple of weeks. These past few weeks have been crazy, unpredictable, full of joy and full of sorrow. And tonight I felt like I just wanted to crawl up in Gods lap and have him hold me. I heard this phrase from a book and it has been in my mind for a few days " Meet God in the shredding place" When I heard it I was like okkkk why and what does that mean? We have these paper shredders to get rid of our personal information right? Well think about it your destroying papers you no longer have a need for. When we let things go we no longer have a need for those things. When we deal with little hurts that trip us up we no longer have a need to hold on to that information we know that made our hearts break. I know that people will come and people will go, sometimes Pain will engulf our heart, sometimes fear will take over, sometimes doubt will creep in but when those things happen where is the first place you wanna go??? For me when these things happen my first response is to shut down and shut people out because I don’t want to deal with anymore hurt. That’s a bad mechanism. I understand that and I’m working on it. I sometimes wish I could just literally sit down with God and just see him and be able to chat. Right now, I just need to sit down with God and tell him how I feel, tell him why I’m hurt or why I’m confused and what’s so awesome is I know I can do that with him. It helps when you go through valleys in your life to really know that he is there whenever you need him so meet God in the shredding room.

You know when things don’t work out the way we plan…when we’re handed loss while we are so hoping for luck...when our rewarding work suddenly collapses into rubble before us….when someone or something we love is taken from us…the light goes out of our lives. We may find ourselves lost, mad, sad, confused, and not able to understand why calamity has swept through our lives and dumped us in this sad, dark place that seems so far away from hope. We may think of what WE PLANNED and what has really happened instead. And if you’re like me, your heart will break and you will have questions like... Why me? Why now? Why this or why that?? Or how about the big one…WHY DIDN’T I SEE THIS???

We go through things for a reason, I always heard the phrase “Everything happens for a reason” I believed that everything had a reason but what if that reason really sucked?? Lol what do I do with that how in the world do I learn from that?! Sometimes when I was going through things my vision was so clouded. I was walking and I couldn’t see a foot in front of me but looking back on the things I thought really sucked and didn’t understand why I had to go through it I realized that it was only added to who I am and to my story. I’ve realized that yes I may see some people walk away from me but I have a father who will always guide me and never leave me, Yes I may be having a hard time loving someone but my father shows me an example of unconditional love and yes my heart may be broken but my Father is the great physician who can heal anything!!! I am learning that all I have to do is cry out to God (“They cry to the Lord in their trouble, and he brings them out of their distress” Psalm 107:28) I believe that God will deliver us from our distress like he promises but sometimes that deliverance is within our hearts, where the pain of our circumstances has shredded our interior being.

God meets us at the shredding place. His deliverance may be simply to give us comfort in that place. His deliverance may be a lifting of our heads, of our spirits and an assurance that he is there with us able to hold us in his lap when we feel alone. His deliverance may be giving us the knowledge that we will have his strength to endure to the end. I know that tonight I may be in that shredding place but I know he will meet me where I am and give me the strength I need to get on top of that mountain top!!

This past weekend I worked the Revolve tour at nationwide. For those of you who don’t know what it is check out this link http://revolvetour.com/ It was a weekend filled with hope for girls all these girls had different issues but all came together in one place for those 2 days to hear about a real God. The first night I slipped in the back and we found our seats and I was sitting there just looking to see how many people were there…I attempted to count but it was pointless to do that I don’t even like math lol but as I was sitting there a questions was asked and it was a personal question something that you have to dig really deep to find the answer too and it requires you to be real. At that moment I felt like it was just God and I. This stadium was filled with people but you felt safe, secure and close to God. That happens when you surrender your life over to Christ. When we hear the word surrender we maybe think someone gives their heart to God for the first time but this surrender means give him your hope, your dreams, your frustrations, your fears, you’re everything!! We can experience that closeness and security in God every minute of every single day!! We don’t have to only be at church, we don’t have to be having lunch at the pastor’s house or even at a conference don’t get me wrong those things are amazing but I think we get to comfortable there. We depend on only the time at church to feel God, we depend on the pastor to give us a good word to get us through the storm or even a conference.

Who are we, that You would be mindful of us?
What do You see, that's worth looking our way?
We are free, in ways that we never should be.
Sweet release, from the grip of these chains.
Like hinges straining from the weight, my heart no longer can keep from singing.

All that is within me cries.
For You alone be glorified Emmanuel, God with us.
My heart sings a brand new song.
The debt is paid these chains are gone.
Emmanuel, God with us.

Lord You know, our hearts don't deserve Your glory.
Still You show, a love we cannot afford.
Like hinges straining from the weight, my heart no longer can keep from singing.

Such a tiny offering, compared to Calvary, nevertheless we lay it at your feet.

"I am the Lord your God...and I have put my words in your mouth and hidden you safely in my hand." -Isaiah 51:15-16


Whether they surface frequently or rarely, we all have strong feelings that impact us, causing tears to spring up unexpectedly, sending grief sweeping over us "Out of Nowhere" or pushing us to behave in certain ways. By studying these feelings and by remembering back to the events and issues that sparked them, we gain understanding that helps us cope.

As we acknowledge the damage inflicted on the crucial bonds or hearts innately crave, we also seek desperatly to give meaning to our expeirences, no matter how grievous the damage. The fact is, the human psyche can withstand almost any assault if we can find purpose in our lives in spite of the assault.

Our supreme purpose and meaning in life are to know, believe and trust that we are loved by the God who does not "do" throw aways. That knowledge-understand we are loved and valued by our creator even more than we can comprehend-makes productive lives possible for all of us.

And here's the most important thing to understand..whether we are abandoned intentionally or due to uncontrolled circumstances, we are intentional creation of the lord Almighty!!!! We are hidden safetly in his hands because thats where he chooses for us to be, amd thats where we will be forever no matter what happens!!!


" Great is your Mercy" - Donnie Mcclurkin
"Great is your mercy towards me
Your loving kindness towards me
Your tender mercy I see
Day after day

Forever faithful towards me
Always providing for me
Great is your mercy towards me
Great is your grace"