I just got done watching the movie “The curious case of Benjamin button” A peculiar movie. It was really good just kinda sad. But it got me thinking about my life. This guy was born with iniquities and sickness but he kept on pushing forward. He was different from the rest of the people. He was set apart. He was not like everyone around him but he was special to the people around him. He set out to do things he never knew he could do and he sometimes failed and sometimes succeeded but the most important thing is out of all those things that he failed at and things that he greatly succeeded at he took the RISK!!! He most likely was frightened and sometimes feeling out of place but he still took that step. He found life. He was in a dark place but eventually found life because he kept on keeping on.

Although the ending was sad and made me think of what the things I would rather not think about it made me ask myself “What would I attempt if I knew I would not fail???” He didn’t know he wouldn’t fail but just imagine what he would’ve done knowing he wouldn’t fail at whatever he was about to attempt??? I don’t have much more than that to ask you. What would YOU attempt if YOU knew YOU would not fail?? Maybe tonight will be a night where you and I can go back to our heart and find that place we have maybe put on lockdown so the fear of failure or the fear of your heart being broke again and open it up to find that thing you’ve always wanted to attempt.

I am in a thoughtful mood tonight so this post isn’t long and maybe people will read it…maybe they won’t but for me I’m going to ask myself what would I attempt if I know I would not fail?

So now for the questions to ask yourself..dun dun dun :)

• What would you do if you knew how much people believed in you??
• What would you do if money didn’t matter??
• What would you be if you could be anything you wanted to be??
• And the question that strikes my soul the most…. “What would YOU attempt if YOU knew YOU would not FAIL??!!!”

By the way, I want people who read this know I am not saying life would be easier if we didn't fail at anything. My main Idea when writing this was how FAITH comes into the picture not that we would go through life with no problems but that we would loose the fear that sometimes paralyzes us.

When you are at the end of your rope, God is there to catch you- Erwin W. Lutzer

Ok I’m just going to ramble in this blog because I need to ramble to someone lol...


So recently a lot of things have taken place in my life that has caused change. Change that I don’t like because like most people when change comes sometimes it’s not the change you were hoping for it will sometimes hurt, make you feel angry, confused or even numb. Right now I feel all of those feelings. I know for everyone it is different with how you handle all these emotions and with me I shut down. I close myself because I don’t want it to happen to me again. This time I know I can’t do that because then I’m not moving God-ward (a.k.a forward in God lol) There is always something learn in these seasons and I have always heard that saying but now I’m realizing that I need to know why I believe those things. I need to know why is it that I believe that God can take those things and turn them for the good. Even though the circumstances around me are changing God never changes!!! But sometimes when you’re in the midst of it all we so carelessly forget those things and are so quick to assume that NO ONE understands. What a statement to make huh??? There is someone who cares and who KNOWS what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. No need to explain why you feel the way you do but to just have someone who just understands.

God designed you to need something close to you in order to find refuge. God knows what you need! It is His desire to draw near to you and be your God--more fully than what you may have ever known was possible.

When you get hurt—for whatever reason—soothing yourself with God’s presence is far more effective than anything else you could depend on.
During other seasons in my life I experienced God as my refuge when there was nowhere else to turn, and I felt his security in the middle of a very uncertain, insecure time. So I know that now like before, he will be my refuge and my security. It’s now up to me to have faith and believe that he knows what he’s doing!!!

btw, can ya'll tell I just figured out how to "compose" my posts??? :)

"The Lord protects the upright but destroys the wicked." Proverbs 10:29 NLT

The center of God's will is our only safety.

Betsie ten Boom


Early explorers who dared to cross oceans quickly learned a valuable lesson: The currents of the sea could carry them to their destination, if followed correctly. Those currents could also divert them from their journey, if ignored. The very same current can have either a positive effect or a negative effect on a sailing vessel; it all depends on the knowledge and the response of the crew. God's wisdom is, in some ways, like the currents of the sea. It can carry us where we need to go. It is our refuge, the means to keep us safe and bring us to our desired destination. But only if we follow it. The benefit of His wisdom only applies to those who are willing to line up with it and set their course accordingly. Otherwise, those same beneficial currents will lead to ruin.

History is filled with millions who have tried to follow a path contrary to God's wisdom. It may be a false religion or philosophy, a personal ambition, a political agenda, an economic strategy, or any other things that we humans, in our ignorance, may set our hearts on. Millions have sailed against the currents of God and failed. Their end is miserable. What looked so promising was found to be futile.

Right now In my life I feel like Im here there are things I want but I have to sit back and ask if its in HIS WILL. I sometimes am not very patient and when I want something I dont like waiting. But we have to be able to ask God what his will is and if the path we are on is one that is in his plans. We have to be willing to stick it out when that path gets rough. When your walking on a path most of the time its not marble with gold trimming it has rocks and mud and puddles but you have to watch your step and not fall and when you do you get right back up and keep on. There comes a point in everyone's lives where you come to the fork in the road and you have to make a choice. The choice first of all needs to be in Gods will but secondly you have to be willing to walk down this road and allow him to come with you, not try to walk alone or take someone to that place where God can only be. Too many times I just open myself up to EVERYONE and sometimes I forget that there is a part that God can only have. I think if we all would be honest we have done this before and if not I am the only one!! wow lol

Do you have a personal agenda? Plans for your future? Examine them closely and ask yourself if they are thoroughly consistent with God's ways (His Word). If not, you could sail comfortably for thousands of miles, thinking you're headed toward the right destination, only to find out you're far, far away. Even slight variations in the beginning can lead you way off course in the end. Plan now. Learn the currents. Take refuges in the wisdom of God.

Waiting to see the light,
Been waiting all my life,
Show me a way,
Won't you show me a way,

I wanna come out of the dark,
But breaking away is so hard,
Show me a way,
Won't you show me a way,

Show me which way to go,
Can't do this by myself,
Can't do this oh oh no
Don't know how I should play,
The cards that I've been dealt.
Can't do this, anybody.

Is anybody listening,
Can anybody answer my prayers,
Please say yes,
Does anybody feel the same.
And is there anybody who cares,
Life's unfair, its so unfair.

I want something more than this,
I've given all I can give,
Show me the way,
Won't you show me the way,

I just wanna feel I belong,
I just need the strength to be strong,
Show me a way,
Won't you show me a way.

Show me which way to go,
Can't do this all alone,
I can't do this all alone.
Don't feel like I know how,
To make it on my own.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."Psalm 46:10

I hate being still. I always have had to be doing something. Yes I know I need patience and maybe some self control but ever since I was a toddler I didn’t like being still. As an adult now I’m finding I still don’t like being still. But I do remember when I was still I was able to observe and learn. When I was younger I did move around a lot but I was a shy kid (I know, really weird combination) But I would just sit back and watch people. Right now in my life God is calling me to that place but instead of looking at others and observing them he wants be to look to him and observe his ways and learn from him. He is wanting me to “Be still and know HE IS GOD”

But like my toddler years I’m wanting to say what’s on my mind and what I feel but God is saying for me to be still right now. Doesn’t that suck especially when you already have what you’re going to say all played out in your mind??? So now going to the subject of the MIND (dun dun dun) isn’t it crazy how so many different scenarios take place in the mind??? This happens to me especially when I’m just trying to be still and listen to Gods voice. I become quiet but then the many what if’s go through my mind. It so tiring, it makes me just feel wore out and drained. That’s not what God wants that’s not his plan. I have a lot of decisions to make like any other kid who is becoming an adult. But these decisions are pivotal to my future and destiny. I don’t want to make rash decisions but sometimes it almost just feels easier to throw n the towel and just do what will get you by. That also is not Gods plan and I am not speaking from a place of being there and knowing everything because I’m in the midst of this and if you were to ask me what I’m going to do or say I would not answer you because I’m being still ha-ha no I’m joking but for real, I don’t have some deep revelation or solution for you. I just know that I am going to be still and know that he is my God and that he will be my refuge in times of trouble!!!

So as your world crumbles around you, so you think. The call from Scripture is this: don’t flinch in faith in God. Stand still — not because of a self-made confidence, not because you are the most composed person in the face of disaster, not because “you’ve seen it all.” Be still because of what you know about God. It is “God’s past” that provides calm for “our future.” Know that he is God! Know it, not merely intellectually, but practically, spiritually, and emotionally. He is your God. He is the ruler of kingdoms of this earth and the all-powerful Creator of the Universe.

Somewhere there's a girl
Only seventeen
And every night she cries
Cries herself to sleep
Mommy don't have the time
And daddy isn't there
So She goes out to find
Find herself somewhere

Somewhere there's a boy
He's got to be a man
He doesn't have a choice
He doesn't understand
When he comes home from school
He can't go out to play
His family needs food
Got to find a way


Look Up, Look Up
Keep on, Keepin' On
Look Up, Look Up
It wont be long
Look Up, Look Up
Your time will come
Look Up, Look Up, Look Up
You're not the only one


You could be that girl
You could be that boy
Lonely in the world
No one hears your voice
Life's not always fair
Do the best you can
And when tomorrow comes
Do your best again
I know it feels hollow
Tryin hard to let it go

Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
That's me
Tragically always together
But bruised underneath
That's me
I stand just to stumble
I trip on my pride
Why do I always try to hide

Meanwhile back at my heart
I'm desperate for all that You are
See through me and take me apart
Meanwhile back at my soul
Mend me, please make me whole
You know just where to start
Back at my heart, back at my heart

Patiently waiting to pick up
The pieces of me
That's You
Healer of hearts
When the world leaves it broken in two
That's You
Maker of heaven
The sky and the sea
When You stretched your arms
You reached for me

Meanwhile back at my heart
I'm desperate for all that You are
Undo me and take me apart
Meanwhile back at my soul
Mend me, please make me whole
You know just where to start

Back at my heart
Back at my fear
Back at my brokenness
Lord meet me here
I am exposed
And I'm not afraid anymore

So I really am finding this song to be very real to me in the season I am in. I think everyone at one time has to allow themselves to go back to their heart and look at the hurts, the fears, at the brokenness and also to the passions and desires in your heart. It doesn’t always have to be something sad and traumatic and can be something that you have a passion for that you’ve kept hidden in your heart and now God wants you to go dig it up and use this passion!! Sometime the thing we need to go dig up in our heart is finding out who we are. Not by our accomplishments, our relationship status, our deeds, or even our failures but what God says about us and who he says we are!!!

We are chosen. We are set apart. We are meant to live big, big lives FULL of joy, unafraid, loved supremely by the one who created us, And God didn’t choose us because he thinks we're always go to win. In fact, he chose us knowing that we may be clumsy, self-conscious, ashamed, too quick to give our opinion, dreadful at listening, full of pride, shy, too smart for our own good, or possessing a host of other characteristics that are deemed by the world as the traits of a loser. God knows us intimately, in all our imperfections, and he loves us beyond measure.

That truth, rooted deeply in our hearts, coloring every thought that runs through our minds is more than enough to see us through the game. When was the last time you were eagerly chosen, picked out of the crowd, or given the recognition? Do you remember what that felt like? Were you surprised, or did you see it coming? How did the people around you react? What would you like look like today if you truly believed what God says about you.....? That you were chosen, even before you were born? Understanding who you really are will change your life forever you just may have to go back to your heart to find it.

I realized today that maybe some of the advice and things Im saying I may need to remember for myself more than I have been. I just wrote about What was in our boxes of baggage and just last night I found that I have a huge box that I conveniently packed away. This box has an assortment of many things and they are things I dont want to deal with because honestly it hurts too bad. But for those who are having the same problem I am Remember there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24) As you can tell this isnt a long post but just some venting and hopefully encouragement for someone. Love you all ~K


"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit." -Psalm 34:18

Today go into the depths of your soul and where you keep all of your boxes of baggage take one of those boxes out. Maybe grab the box with the question on it "Where are you God?" But I have learned instead of asking that question when you take out this box ask yourself "What was it that was clouding my vision to see God?" I know its not fun going to that place but He said he would never leave us or forsake us so there is no way that when your walking with him that he just up and leaves you like people do.

Look at Psalm 100 this passage shows you what your to do with your baggage you are carrying. So with all the questions all of the doubts or all of the failures you have enter into his presence with PRAISE!!!! So when your digging in the boxes of baggage you've stacked away take those to God and leave them!! That means take the PAIN take the TRAUMA take the REGRET take the ANGER take the SADNESS and THANK God for it because when you thank him and you release it to him because when your hands go up and praise him they no longer can hold on to the baggage!! So give whatever your box is today to God!!!

Psalm 100 (The Message)
1-2 On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.

3 Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn't make him.
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.

4 Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.

5 For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.