Today I was sitting in silence for about 6 hours. It was the longest 6 hours of my entire life lol. The silence was a result of no electricity due to the huge snow/ice storm that Ohio is experiencing right now and for a few days to come. But as I was sitting there thinking about all the things I could be doing. I decided to get out my bible and just dig into something. I wasn’t looking for anything specific but I decided to look up some scripture about prayer. We are studying this at church right now so I figured I would look deeper into it. I came across the scripture "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." (2 Ch. 7:14) Then I stumbled upon a passage that said "Solomon asks for wisdom" and in my life right now wisdom is something I’m in need of so I was drawn to it. As I read it was quite obvious that Solomon wanted to do the will Of the Almighty. He wanted to do all he could to please his God. Solomon, son of David was going to build a temple for God. And he made it very clear he wanted the best of the best and not for his glory but for the Lords glory. In 2 Ch. 1:7 God said to Solomon "Ask for whatever you want me to give you" Solomon then replies with the best answer ever!!! He says "You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place. Now, LORD God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth." Something I noticed was that Solomon doesn’t ask for worldly things or things that shows selfishness but one thing. Only to be blessed like his Father David was!!!

God gave Solomon what he had asked because God knew his heart (2 Ch. 1 :11-12) Being the king Solomon was he had a lot of power and could probably get what he wanted with just a snap of his fingers. BUT he desired to please and honor his King. While preparing to then build this magnificent temple for the name of the Lord he requested the best builder/carvers he wanted nothing mediocre. To me this stood out because it made me sit back and evaluate my relationship with God. How many times do we only set aside a few minutes a day to spend with God??? We often think if we get a few bible verses in for the day we are safe...I know I used to think that way, Thank God he opened my eyes and I matured lol I was left with many questions to think on today while there was so much silence. Why do I spend time with God??? Is it because I need something??? (which is ok to need and you should ALWAYS go to God with your needs but if there is only going to God when you need something that needs worked out) Or do I go to God and spend time with him because I desperately need that to survive in life and get through the day?? Is it because my desire to please God is so strong and I want to know what he would require of me. I think I could say that it’s all of the above. I go to God in time of need, I go to my God because I need him to survive I want to know what it is he requires of me or what he would want me to do for that day. When I go to God like Solomon and ask for knowledge and wisdom that I would have the faith and believe God will give me those precious things. God loves us soooo much and just wants us to know we can just come to him as we are. We don’t have to be a king of millions but just be us whether you are broken, discouraged, sad, angry, fearful, or happy come to him as you are!!!!

Isn't it funny how often we rely on others to fulfill the desires within us. We go through life saying we trust God and rely on him for everything but in reality you find yourself relying to much on others. I'm not saying you don't need anyone because as the body of Christ we do need each other and God is all about relationship. That’s why our relationships are tested so many times. As humans it is placed within us to desire a relationship. But where we get it twisted is when we place other things to fulfill that empty place. So we are left disappointed every time because no one is going to be able to fill those empty places because it’s a place only for God. Sometimes we have so high of expectations for our relationships that people will fall short of those expectations because what you want from someone else God can only meet that expectation.

Maybe I'm the only one who does this. I depend so much on others and not enough on God. I say I rely on him for my every need, desire, question or even lonely place but situations I keep having to deal with has shown me that I don't always go to God first. How do I balance the two?? Depending and trusting others but also trusting God and depending on him for my every need??? I'm not sure of that answer because I'm still learning it. I know that God places people in your life who are there for a reason so don't get me wrong I believe relationship with others are so important. But in everything in life there needs to be balance. This is something I'm still learning. I may be the only one but I'm believing I'm not in this alone. Something I have realized with me is I place my self worth on how much people need me or love me. Its something I have always dealt with. I've gotten soooo much better but at times, like tonight. I deal with this feeling. So maybe ask yourself what I am tonight. Who do I run to when I have things on my mind??? Who do I rely on when I feel I need some love and attention???

Something is holding us back. Perhaps it is a fear that maybe we are wrong about God. Maybe we feel presumptuous. It is possible, if we have been disappointed in the past, that our misunderstanding is haunting us. We hear a voice in the back of our minds that says, “What if God doesn’t come through? What if he makes it more difficult than I can handle? What if all my hopes are illusions?” So we hesitate to trust God. We pray and we hope, but faith remains incomplete and doubts linger. We’ll ask Him to help us, but we withhold judgment until we’ve seen His response.
We are called to believe God with reckless abandon—not just believe that He is there and that He is involved with us somehow; but that He is actively, personally seeking our good and answering our prayers. We are to give up our own strategies and ambitions, to relinquish all “Plan Bs,” to recklessly cast ourselves completely into His arms.

God called Abraham to leave Haran and go to a place to be revealed later. Jesus invited Peter to step out of the boat and walk on water. That kind of call is scary, though typical in God’s Kingdom. But why is it scary? Where could He lead us that we’d regret? Would He ever lead us into danger but not out of it?

God calls us to “reckless” trust, the kind that prepares no safety net and reserves nothing for a spiritually rainy day. Try to find someone God had forsaken, observe His faithfulness, and ask yourself: “Why wouldn’t I trust Him wholeheartedly? Think about it. Why not?

“When the enemy comes in like a flood,
The spirit of the Lord will raise up a standard against him.
I see the enemy coming in like a flood in our houses, in our churches, in our families.
But what I don’t see is the standard. People of God where is the standard at?
We in a war y’all. It’s time to stand oooouuuuut!” - Tye Tribbett

Do you ever just feel like your standing in a field all alone??? Or that everything you attempt to do never works out?? Well if not you are so lucky!!!! Im having one of those days where nothing is going right and Im very adaptable to change but college is around the corner and relationships are rocky right now. I have all of these tests that I need to take to even be able to get into college and recently have found that I am horrible at studying!!! How crazy is that?? Im not ok with my dreams being out of reach. I just feel like I need to get alone and be with God. This afternoon I had that thought then immediately thought I dont have the strength nor the energy to even do that.("The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7) God quickly spoke to me and made me realize I was doing a lot of moaning and complaining to everyone but him. Yes he knows what is in my heart and he knows what my desires are but he likes to hear what I am feeling. Just like when your in a love relationship there has got to be communication on both ends. It is kind of hard to learn about someone and feel comfortable with them when your only talking to yourself and the fact you feel completely retarded talking to yourself is a big reason why communication is a key to ANY kind of relationship lol

I feel like Im stuck in this rut and every time I climb out something tries to push me back in but I just had the revelation that its all in my perspective. Of course I wont succeed if all I'm thinking about is the fear of failing. So many times I think we assume the worst so we wont be disappointed but what a tragedy that is when God is wanting to bless us and build us so high up. I'm reminded of the scripture "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31) Today I know for me I will allow God to speak to me and allow the fear of failure, the fear of disappointment, the fear of this the fear of that the fear.....This list could go on!!! I will allow him to remove those things and yea it may take awhile to get to that place. I love the quote "But I'm a train that's moving

And everyday I'm picking up speed" Its so perfect for where I am. Who knows if this blog will help someone, I pray it does but I guess it starts with me first. So take it from me, If your feeling down or just discouraged lets change our perspective.("Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26) We have so much potential that its a shame not to walk in that. No matter what your facing I believe in you. The key is believing in yourself first though. I pray this will speak to someone and if not, I know it helped me just to vent a little :) Be blessed and DREAM BIG!!!!!

In 1995 a group of young people, interested in ministering through sign language, under the leadership of River Valley Life Center and Pastor Paul Bishop, formed Hands of the River. This ministry quickly grew and found itself ministering in nearly every denomination in the city. There seemed to be no boundaries. Since then we have expanded our ministry to include various forms of dance as well. We have incorporated African, Hip-hop, Latin, and many more types of dance into our songs. This combination of sign language-meets dance has made for a dynamic ministry. Even though our style has somewhat changed and we have expanded our medium of ministry, our vision still remains the same. Expressive sign and dance is not for entertainment. It is for developing a close relationship with Christ through expression; bringing the Body of Christ into the Holy of Holies. The sacrifice of the whole body in praise will bring forth a new anointing, break yokes, and set the captive free. It is an expression that relates to all mankind, leading them to Christ, which can save them. It is our desire to recover the art of dance to the believers, out of the hands of the enemy. Through prophetic worship, travail, sign expression, spiritual warfare, and celebration we hope to achieve this. We currently have 15 young people on the team with ages ranging from 12 to 37. In addition, we have a younger group of children that sign and dance on special occasions. Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. Psalm 150:6"

This is a little about the ministry I am so proudly apart of, I hope it blesses you and meets you where you are below is the weblink come check us out!!!

www.handsoftheriver.com

So before I have to go get ready for my bro's bball game I felt like writing again lol

So some things have been brought to my attention and I’m bothered by them to say the least. So many times have people come to me or have I heard stories in this last week about people who are dealing with self worth. I think everyone at one point or another deals with this issue, I know I have and sometimes I still do. But what I am bothered by is how it is taking control of so many peoples lives. I think a lot of people base self worth on their accomplishments, the money in the bank, friends, relationships or what people say about them. When we have an unhealthy view of ourselves and feel like there is nothing to love we can’t truly love others. They strive to be validated by others and feel that they can only feel good about themselves when others are uplifting them and approving of what they have done when really God should be the one doing that. In this world there is so much pressure to be the best and not let anyone see that you’ve gone through some things but this is such a lie. When you can be real with people about your issues it makes you relate able to others and ultimately allows you to heal. It makes me really sad to hear how people feel as though they need to change to have someone love them, they need to change so they can feel like they fit in, or they need to change because of what people say. I see so many people that are walking around not knowing how valuable they are and they seem to base their self image on what people think. I just wish people could see how our differences will bring us together and what we think isn’t that “great” about us can be used to help others.

“Many of us look good, but we have an imaginary price tag hanging not on our clothes, but on our person. We see ourselves as cheap, not worth much, possibly even on God’s clearance rack. We don’t believe anyone could ever love us and certainly, God could never use us in His plan, but nothing could be further from the truth. Your worth isn’t wrapped up in your accomplishments, possessions, job title, popularity, or looks. It isn’t about what others think of you, good or bad. It doesn’t even matter what you think of yourself. We can be our harshest critic, can’t we? Your worth has nothing to do with any of those things or even your ability to carry out the duties listed in Proverbs 31. You are precious to God simply because you are His child.”